How to forget a love and stop suffering once and for all. Yeah, how do you do it? The answer, the psychologists confirm it, unfortunately does not exist, or rather: it depends on you. In love there are no rules, we play, we win and we lose, or maybe we do not win nor lose. Those who leave suffer later, say, or even, suffer for love is inevitable. The truth, as in everything, lies in the middle and to forget a person, or unrequited love, there are no standard methods that can be applied as automatic Excel formulas. Of course, it would be so comfortable, but the unpredictability of relationships reminds us that we do not have control over everything, and therefore to re-emerge from a finite love and put together the pieces of a broken heart, we must entrust ourselves only to ourselves. And at the time.
The reasons why the relationships end so many that it is impossible to list them all: a betrayal (online is?), An incompatibility of characters, an inner change that does not reflect that of the other … Do you play familiar situations? We’ve all been there, some more and some less, at least once. We have all experienced the first love, we all loved a great love, and we all suffered for unrequited love: forgetting a man who does not want you for so many women is the reason for greater suffering in the relational sphere.
But if there is no golden rule that we can use to forget an ex and stop suffering, how do we succeed? Because we succeed, around. To forget a person at 100% is almost impossible: completely erasing all the memories of a love affair is not something of this Earth, or at least not in a literal sense. “The memories of the story with my ex are blurred, as if I had dreamed all that time,” says Letizia, 26 years old. Then there are those who think that it is not worth suffering for love: “I have the memory of a goldfish, I forget quickly, and if it’s over it means it was not love, so it’s better to forget”, says Carola, 31 years. In the words “how to forget a boy”, Valentina, 40 years old, replies: “I left, I changed cities, the physical distance certainly helps to let go of a love that is over”. Barbara, 29, thinks so: “When I was 18 I left with my boyfriend and I wanted so much to change city, but I had already started my studies and I could not. holiday can do a lot though “.
Not being able to forget a love that has long since ended up is something very common: according to Paola, 36, “a finished love should not be forgotten, it should only be carefully stored in a special box, like an old sweater you made a skin, but that now has too many holes and you can not wear it anymore. Amazing, even today, but no longer usable: patches will also be in fashion, but in love never … “. Seriously, if the love story has been particularly intense and lasting, putting together the pieces of self can be soooo complicated. But hey, impossible is nothing, and although in the early 2000s this was just a Nike commercial, we really believe it. “For me the only solution is the clean cut, just feel, respond to messages, change the environments that you attend, do not see it anymore, in short, especially if he treated you badly”, is the opinion of Michela who has 27 years. Vito, of 37, agrees in full: “The most important thing for me is to protect ourselves as much as possible and the only way to do it is to cut all the bridges.If it’s over it’s over, the cut must be c-h-i-r-u-r-g-i-c-o!”. And also Deborah, 50, reacts to the love tears drastically: “I always cut my hair and change the wardrobe: it’s important to cut the past and look forward”.
Saying enough, saying stop, putting a point at the head with double space below is the solution that more or less we all consider “better”, or at least rationally. But the “surgical” cuts may not be for everyone, or maybe there are those who would like to do it but do not feel ready: “I think it’s better not to deal with former friends in the former, rather than with the ex himself: after all, if there was a love story, it means that there was something to be said, so better keep the doors open with that person for any clarification, and rather not involve the friendships that could instead create misunderstandings “, says Francesca, 33.” In love there are no rules, feelings are never pre-established, once you can feel in the mood to do something and another time you can react differently “, Danilo thinks, 37 years old. “First of all I delete the former from all the social media: the blue whatsapp can be a real torture”, Anna, 36 years old.
In the end, how to forget a man (or even a woman) is not impossible. Everyone uses their own way, if you can call it that. Peter, aged 27, for example, focuses on his friends: “Coming out often, going out a lot, keeping busy is the best thing, then in Tinder’s time it is even easier to find a distraction …”. And there is also more suffering when it leaves rather than when it is left, like Ludovica, 38: “It is not said that you suffer for love only when a story ends.Rather often you suffer a lot more during the course of the relationship : when love turns into obsession, toxic stories are dragged along that risk making us much worse, and then those who leave can not allow themselves the “luxury” to admit that they are suffering, and for this reason they suffer even more. When you only deal with yourself, and you can not say hey I’m the victim, I’m allowed to suffer, it can be much harder. ”
In short, you do not need a degree in psychology to be able to say how to forget someone we have loved or love and who has broken our hearts. We experience it a little ‘all on our skin, a little’ as happens, depending on age, personality, the place where we live, the circumstances. Each of us could spend hours and hours mulling over, how to do, how not to do, but in the end the answer is only one, and there is only him: the heart.